Festive Preparations

Its that time of the year again. Time to prepare yourself for Christmas - get the alcohol tolerance level up, practise the drunk driving without appearing obviously drunk, get ready to make moves on all women in the name of festive cheer, and time to remember what its all supposed to be for. These days, of course, most of us are'nt religious, but we can think of great people and their lives and teachings anyway. Most of us in SA and in Africa in general are going to be seriously short of resources to use for having fun. So we'll use the tried and trusted method of acquiring some in a hurry. This always has the effect of upsetting the colonialists among us, who normally bear the brunt of our activities. There's also nothing like a bit of beer to get rid of the last vestiges of your inhibitions with respect to women, or partying in general. And when the police do actually catch you, which is almost never, the Christmas spirit normally ensures they let you go as usual, maybe after receipt of a little Christmas gift.

Ashamed to Be Black

I'm really ashamed to hear about people like the president of Guinea, who lives the high life, sells out to the Americans, and his 500 000 population gets nothing and lives in total poverty. Mugabe is similar, except selling out to the Chinese. Meanwhile, all the other African leaders, such as ours (Mbeki), offer him their total, loyal, and unwavering support. Then one of our politicians goes to jail for stealing from the government, which is effectively stealing from the people, and all the other politicians openly show their support for him, and he gets his jail term shortened by a remarkable degree, and gets to go home on weekends. What is wrong with us? Do we only show ubuntu for the well-heeled? Are all poverty stricken people not really blacks like us? Do we really not care less about anybody except ourselves and our influential mates? I can't see the reasoning, just as I can't see the reasoning we're all violently supporting JZ. Why don't we choose rulers who have a proven track record of support for everyone, and not just interested in self wealth generation and spending? We hate the colonialists with such a passion, but we're probably worse than them whenever we get a chance.

Colonialist peculiar problems

I did a bit of house painting work for a colonialist (white male) the other day, and while he drove me home we got talking. It turns out he's got into a bit of a difficult situation. Apparently he took on a difficult job, and 3 years later resigned to release extra funds to help the organisation purchase equipment, etc. The problem was that then he carried on working there, planning to slowly pass the workload over to others, such that they wouldn't need to replace him, and the department could flourish. Now, 1 and a half years later, he's still going in to his office everyday and doing the same work he did when they paid him for it. However, now that he's no longer officially an employee, things are much tougher for him, since he can't approve purchases, etc, and subsequently often ends up footing the bill himself. He has been looking for a job half-heartedly, firstly because he knows he won't get one (being a white male and not a CA), and secondly because he's worried about what will happen to the department when he finally leaves. Its hard to believe anyone can be so stupid. He now feels compelled to work for free for the foreseeable future. Some people enjoy their job, but this is just taking things too far. To add insult to injury, all the funds that have been freed up are now being used by the new official head of department for annual overseas trips and new, personal computer equipment for himself, and the department is in the same cash-strapped situation as before. In fact the guy still has to justify to the funders that the money they're giving is being well-spent - effectively he's being forced to lie about where the money is going, because he's scared they'll withdraw funding if they realise its all being spent on someone's personal use. And I thought I had problems...

A Nation of Idiots

Someone must save the entire message board from the Friends of JZ website for posterity. Any archaologists digging this stuff up in 100 years time will find it impossible to believe that we could be so utterly stupid. The time we waste writing nonsensical guff could be much better put to use being creative, getting together, preparing for 2010. Or even thinking about and planning the housing and feeding of our growing nation and neighbours. Improving education. Saving our environment and fellow creatures. Respecting gays. Important stuff. Squabbling over colonialist and capitalist spoils is unutterably stupid in this day and age. Come on, someone, such as JZ himself, say something intelligent to get us back on track...

Crime Statistics

As usual, Ngakula our minister of safety and security has announced a reduction in most crimes. His main aim in life, it seems, is to reduce crime statistics. What is the easiest way to do this? Is it get the police to tackle crime? Is it to actually reduce incidents of crime? Of course not! It's to either manipulate the figures, prevent the release of the figures altogether, or to prevent people from reporting crimes. Guess which methods our wonderful minister has chosen? You guessed right - the African method, the easy way out, the solution for those who think that our country is incapable of doing anything properly. Unfortunately this pervading thought is turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our minister doesn't seem to be thinking too much about the implications of his actions on the people, nost importantly the women and children who are most likely to be on the receiving and of the criminal behaviour he is indirectly promoting. He also doesn't seem to realise that he is the only one who can do anything about it. While he's dining in Sandton's most exclusive restaurants, the massive responsibility is resting on his shoulders, but he hasn't noticed. I watched on SABC while the presenter grilled him on crime, and he easily evaded every single questions, no answers as usual. And that questioning only by the state broadcaster - imagine how someone like Debra Patter would have laid into him. Its time for him to stop being an idiot, and start caring.

Zimbabwe’s Problem

I was in the shebeen speaking to a brother Zimbabwean the other day, and he said that without a doubt, Zimbabwe’s people are not acting together, but are each looking after their own individual interests, and hence their massive problems. And they have huge problems. I responded that maybe they can’t act in the national interest when they are just about starving, and operating in survival mode. However, I just have to agree with him, because I can’t imagine Germany or Japan operating like that, for example, after the 2nd World War. Somehow the people always unite and stand together, as is essential to advance as a nation. We African’s are meant to have built-in Ubuntu, but somehow, pride, envy and jealousy normally overcome any altruistic tendencies we have. Especially with regard to other races. In Zimbabwe’s case, the place is laughable, the things that are done are just so nonsensical, yet they carry on in all seriousness. It is such a waste of time, pretending you’re a democracy with a free market system, pretending you can run a modern country. I have no idea why they bother – should simply throw in the towel and go back to living off the land. They’d probably improve economically if they did.

Living in Africa

I have to admit, despite my respect for a few of our politicians, that the government has, to some extent, failed us. They have failed at uplifting the poor, employing the unemployed and delivering services. They have failed at reducing crime, limiting corruption, reducing AIDS, and redistributing land and wealth, and even at educating our children. However, everybody sees our neighbour, Zimbabwe, and in contrast we are a huge success, as indicated by the droves of refugees entering our country. But because the government hasn’t succeeded completely, we decide to vote in a nice populist government to sort things out. And in 10 years time we’re just like all our neighbours – living on US or European Aid, watching as the Chinese and Russians take all our resources overseas, watch as our president squanders all the remainder of the country’s wealth, zero jobs available except as inspectors for the government (to enforce all their myriads of new laws like controlling the price of bread, or prevention of illegal currency dealing), grabbing commercial farms to live on in a subsistence fashion as we did 200 years ago, read our government-owned newspapers which have headline stories about someone stealing petrol while hundreds are murdered daily, watch our government-owned TV news and see the science and technology insert about a spaced out wacko in all seriousness describing an alien spacecraft, followed by an interview of witnesses to petrol theft from a government vehicle, including a detailed view of the piece of pipe and bucket used for the heinous crime, sitting complaining about 1000% inflation rate or the fact that our salary is only enough for 10 loaves of bread but nobody’s listening or caring, still relying on the hated colonialists to sell us black-market petrol and food, those same colonialists secreting any wealth they can get straight overseas where it is safe, our wealth in local currency regularly reduced to zero value. Yes, this is Africa, our Africa, and you must accept it and make the best of it. As you can see, I was in Harare recently and I have seen our future. Are we stupid? No I think not – believe it or not, this is what we want, what we feel comfortable with. We in SA complain about everything far more than the Zimbabweans, who are literally starving. They have no economy to speak of, although they try to maintain the colonialist way of doing things still. The remaining colonialists use generators for power, have to collect water, and have to import their own fuel – and that’s inside Harare, the second biggest city. And all the colonialists drive 4x4s because of the potholes. Amazingly, despite the governments’ efforts, they’re still having relatively good lives. I suppose the ones that couldn’t handle it have all left. The people generally accept their lot in life, which is reduced to survival mode, trying to find increasingly rare food and money everyday, and are actually better people for it. They have been there, and now appreciate the small things in life, the important things such as basic necessities, which in all honesty is all we really need. Its only the colonialists who’ve made us greedy, made us want other things. So be satisfied, be happy, accept our culture of mediocrity – and things will always be OK.

What do the Workers Want?

The Great JZ has a lot of support from the unions, meaning that lower paid, employed people like the mineworkers want him to be president. The question is why? It is obvious he will not create jobs, more likely remove them. I imagine these people don’t particularly like their jobs anyway. What he will do is shake the economy up, create economic meltdown of the colonialist side of the economy, and redistribute wealth – which means land, I presume, since that’s all that will hang around to be redistributed. In essence, then, they want what Zimbabwe got, what the Namibians want and will be getting shortly I presume, and what the rest of Africa got- they want the land handed over. Of course, they would want anything else of value too, but that normally doesn’t last long enough to be of any value, eg businesses such as mines, since they all need to be operated to retain their value. History shows that after hand over, even the land drops in value, since production is halted. Why then, this insistence on taking everything? Do we Africans have a higher tendency to envy or greed than others? Probably, judging by the level of corruption and the massive rich-poor gaps in Africa. We are proven to make excellent capitalists. All our politicians are fat and drive expensive 4x4s. Also, our strong sense of individualism and pride suggests a strong tendency to arrogance, which explains our tendency to be racists (as well as our tendency to drive 4x4s and care less about the poverty stricken masses). Once everything is destroyed, our politicians are driving 4x4s over us, we’re all starving together, and our vote counts for nothing because of voting fraud, we seem to be happy and resigned to whatever fate befalls us, since there’s nothing we can do about it. But yes, we have to assume that underneath it all, our objective is to go back to living as our ancestors did, a few cattle, women stamping sorgum for beer, a fight against the neighbouring tribe now and then. The thing is, we could probably get just that, and the colonialists could have the cities and their western economies. That’s all of no interest to us in the long run. The agricultural side of the economy is of less importance than ever. I assume greed precludes this outcome. Unfortunately its inevitable, then, until we can all stand up and actually care for and truly respect our fellow countrymen, fellow earthly creatures (yes, they’re no less important than us, although our unbelievable arrogance suggests somewhere we forgot this fact) and (gasp!) even our colonialist invaders – they are also creatures of this earth, and are not of lesser importance than us. If we could ever conceptualise the fact that Eugene Terreblanche must be respected, thought of with empathy, and nurtured, we may finally be getting somewhere. Lets hope, for the sake of our humanity, some miracle changes us, and we can establish some semblance of sanity to our continent.

Zuma the Winner!

What great news! The corruption case struck from the roll, and me, Zuma and thousands of supporters ecstatic with joy. Another battle in the war won. SA doesn't need to know if he has done anything wrong. He doesn't seem to care whether SA knows or night, which might seem suspicious to colonialists who don't understand Africa. He has a big heart, and sings and dances well. Same with Yengeni - he should be released immediately: he has expensive sunglasses and shows his leadership skills by driving a big black 4x4. Struggle heroes are allowed to help themselves here and there, as long as they know how to spend it. Why should this be? I will put it to you - the average South African doesn't like things to be too good, or people who are too competent, or things too organised, or things working too well. How else do you explain the state of dilapidation of every government service? Taxis which aren't roadworthy, despite sufficient income to repair them? Extensive and accepted bribery and corruption? Mbeki has become too damn good at being a politician - time to replace him with something a little less effective, something we can relate to, something that doesn't work properly...I know I sound sarcastic, but we can not, and actually should not, delay the inevitable. We are an African country, and we need a proper, popular African leader. And as I've frequently said before, its actually very nice living in an African country - so what if the colonialists kick and scream? They can leave anytime.

Join the Black South African Surf Ring!!

There are hardly any black South African blogs. If you have one, join the surf ring - Click on the "join" link in the box on the right hand side of this blog.

Welcome to Diepsloot

If you know where that is, you've come to the right place!!